T
hose of us who grew up with crummy game translations tend to look back on the 8-bit era with a warrior's pride. We look at lengthy in-game tutorials and snort, "In my day, we had to figure out for ourselves that 'GRUMBLE GRUMBLE' translated to 'Feed me bait, you lousy elf-kid.'"
We didn't read the stories in 8- and 16-bit games so much as we decoded them--a process that sometimes shepherded us to cliff sides, where we spent hours trying to make Simon Belmont bash his head against the rock simply because a townsperson told us it'd be a cool idea. As a result, some of video games' more infamously botched translations have actually wormed their way into the vernacular of 20- and 30-somethings, including "A winner is you," "All your base are belong to us," and Final Fantasy IV's ever-beloved "You spoony bard!"
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